Toni Stone
401 Buck Hollow Rd.
Fairfax, VT 05454
the skill of refusal
jan. 27, 2011
it’s so easy to spend a whole day in material states of thought..
forgetting to go to the 99% world of ideas where everything comes from.
i was talking to a very upset student who crashed his car the night before on the highway.
he banged into another guy who was almost stopped, and really shouldn’t have been
right like that, on a fast moving road!
the bottom line was, the car was totaled, but he and the
other man walked away unscathed. as we talked, he began
to revisit his anger from the night before. i reminded him,
“this is a miracle! both of you are well and unhurt. it didn’t have to be that way.
it could have been very sad. it wasn’t.”
he ran past that realization and wanted to locate in rage.
the ego will always prefer rage to gratitude, but the power
to refuse rage always exists. the skill to locate in gratefulness is a great power,
but it requires constant daily rigorous work and a strong mental muscle to keep choosing it.
he needed to think thoughts like, “oh wow i could get a new car out of this chaotic situation,” or,
“isn’t it fine to be so protected!” or even, “wow isurt am lucky.” when the anger wanted the spotlight,
the wondering question could take it’s place…
“i wonder what i want myself to see about me in this situation”… it’s rigorous work, to stay on top of the material facts, but so well worth it. this skill is the maker of a sterling life.
1am grateful for knowing what to practice.
